12.3.04

Hard Headed

I am a Taurus. I am stubborn. Some say hard headed. This is the pejorative way of describing this particular personality trait. I like to apply of a more positive spin, like perseverance, steadfast, maybe dedicated. Most people just see me as stubborn. Ask Mat Honan, or Beakdip if you don't believe me.
This gets me in trouble from time to time. For instance, I have a bit of difficulty admitting my mistakes. Sometimes I am just unwilling to see where I fucked up. Oh I damn near always see it from the other perspective in time. But sometimes it takes like a month or so. Right now it has been a month since this little late night, drunken incident that occurred between myself and this friend of mine. We'll call her Leyla, cause that's her name. Maybe at the risk of seeming like more of monster than I really am I will omit the details. But suffice it to say that I was in the wrong. I fucked up. I couldn't see where I fucked up until I discussed the situation with this mutual friend, let's call her Tiffany, cause that's her name. Tiffany made me understand WHY I was in the wrong which was the keystone that I hadn't quite grasped. I'm glad Tif and I talked.
So here I am. Senor Insensitive Bastard is my name. I have been trying to get ahold of Leyla all day. She won't return my calls. Ce'st la Vie but a hard pill to swallow nonetheless. I hope that my hard headedness hasn't lost me a friend this time. There have been a lot of close calls in the past on the friend loss tip. Usually things got worked out. I don't know what I'm trying to say here except ~ I'm Sorry Leyla.
She doesn't read this though. Crap.
I am a Taurus.

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