Grace
When I got back to Austin after my time in Babylon I went to work at Romeo’s. Romeo’s is a restaurant that I had worked at in college. It was a familiar place and it was easy to get hired back on. There were a lot of new people but still lots of familiar faces. Some of the kids I had waited with there back in the day were now managers and the GM was the same. Since I had been gone they had opened another location. I would work most of the week at the south store but on Saturday nights I would work at the new north location.One Saturday night, during a time that I was just coming out of a long depression, I was desperate to make something happen in my new prison of a healthful-yet-boring existence. This occurrence would become intimately tied to the pirate phase. So one fateful Saturday night I was the closer and it was late in the evening. A couple came into the restaurant, a middle-aged Hispanic man and his obscenely young and obscenely beautiful companion. Beautiful women were no anomaly at Romeo’s and such as in this case they were often accompanied by what would appear to be a suitor. The whole time I was waiting on this pair the girl, and I say girl cause she looked about twenty, kept giving me the bedroom eyes and like I say this was a restaurant. When I took their order she was looking me up and down and each time I would come to the table she seemed to be looking as deep into my peepers as she possible could. I was reciprocating. They finished their meal and ordered tiramisu. I was pretty captivated by this girl but like I say she sort of appeared to be with this man at least for the evening. I was curious. When I presented the check the girl got out her credit card. As I was in the wait station running the card the girl made her way to the restroom. She had to pass right by me coming and going. On her way into the restroom she made eye contact with me. On her way out of the restroom she made and held eye contact with me. I was intrigued. I presented the credit card slip said my cordial thank you’s and walked off wishing that I had asked if that was her husband or boyfriend. This girl was so damn fine I was almost willing to take the embarrassment, but I didn’t, too unprofessional for me. But I was so enchanted with her long glances that what I did next would break the bank in the unprofessional category.
She had picked up the tab. That meant that I had her name ~ Grace R—. I told my manager on duty, Yvette, what had happened and I told her about the long glances and I told her that I was thinking about looking the girl up in the phone book and calling her. Yvette was busy closing the restaurant when I told her this and she was only halfway listening. Yvette was always encouraging and so she absentmindedly said, “Yeah, go for it.” So right then and there I got out a phone book and I looked up the name Grace R— and sure enough there it was. I wrote the number down.
As soon as I woke up on Sunday I started thinking about Grace. I was nervous cause I knew that I wasn’t going to chicken out. I knew that sometime that day I was gonna pick up the phone and use that number. I waited til just after noon. I picked up the phone and dialed. She picked up her end after three rings.
“Hello”
“Uh hi, is this Grace R—?” I said.
“Yes, who is this?”
“My name is Matthew, I was your waiter at Romeo’s last night,” I am a maniac I thought, what am I doing. It was a little awkward at first. I asked if that was her boyfriend or husband she was with and it wasn’t. Turns out that he was an artist friend of hers who had painted her portrait and she had accompanied him to the gallery opening earlier that evening. I apologized for the weirdo nature of the call and I assured her I wasn’t dangerous, maybe insane in the membrane but not dangerous. She said it was cool and she admitted that she had thought I was cute and she had intentionally been flirting with me. We talked for twenty or thirty minutes. It was all very cool and nonchalant. I asked her if we could meet for a drink or something as such and she agreed to meet me the very next night. I got off the line and I was on fucking cloud nine. I couldn’t believe I had done that and furthermore I couldn’t believe it had seemingly worked out. I had picked up a Sunday night shift at the north store and I couldn’t wait to tell Yvette what happened.
When I got to work Yvette gave me a somber look. She was at the bar eating food and she just said, “We need to talk.” My heart sank into my belly. I was all “What, what, what happened.” She said that a man had called the restaurant and complained about a waiter that had called his companion after getting her name from a credit card receipt. I reminded Yvette that I had told her what I was planning to do, checking for her approval and she had said to go for it. And she was all “Well I didn’t think you would actually do it.” And I was all “How long have you known me?” So I presented my side of the story about how we had talked and everything was cool and we had made plans to meet up. Well this was incongruous with what the angry artiste companion had said and we both came to the conclusion that the guy was only mad cause I was horning in on his action. I told Yvette that if she wanted me to I would call it all off, but she said no and insisted that the guy on the phone was just green with envy.
So I saw Grace the next night. We had a good time. As I was leaving her place after cocktails she gave me a long passionate kiss. Yum. I saw her a second time and then a third. On the third date we were starting to get a little touchy feely. We went to one of my favorite bars Club Deville and proceeded to get a bit hammered. We went back to her place and started to engage in some serious foreplay. She had told me that she was fairly recently broken up with a boyfriend, Jesse, and he was still calling her all the time. During this ‘sucky the face and grabby the naughty bits’ session we were having the phone kept ringing. She was just ignoring it. I wasn’t even really hearing it. This went on for the better part of two hours. Finally she asked me if I wanted to move to the bedroom. We had her sectional couch all akimbo and spread in three directions and I had hoped it was leading to the bedroom soon.
We both got naked pretty quick and I was straightaway licking the nappy dugout. That went on until she was pulling at my shoulders to come up and fuck. I slipped on a Trojan and went to work. As is the case often the first time out with a super fine girl and especially since we had been at the foreplay for hours I popped off way too soon. I got mine she ain’t got hers. This doesn’t always happen but it does seem to be directly related to how turned on I am and how much experience I have had with the girl of the moment. No worries. I am quick on the rebound so I assured her that I would be ready again within minutes. She was cool and so we both collapsed down onto the bed for a little post coital cuddle. It had been maybe five minutes and I was regaining strength. I had my fingers back in her pussy and I was getting ready to be ridden. Then out of the darkness came a rap tap tapping at her chamber window. Tap tap tap and then a muffled “Grace…Grace are you in there?”
She put her finger to my mouth and said, “Shhhh…” So there we were buck naked and about to copulate again and outside the window there was someone who was not in the know and I was all the sudden feeling unamused, still horny but unamused. She told me to stay quite and I told her that I had to put on my jeans. I quietly rose from the bed fell down to the floor and located my crumpled jeans. I was a little panicked. I didn’t know how big the guy was. I didn’t know whether or not he had a penchant for violence. I could image him being a little upset to find his true love, and I say true love based on the persistence of his phone calls, in her inner chamber naked with a handsome young rogue. ~The handsome young rogue being me. So I did what I thought was the best course of action in that situation. I found the closet and shut myself inside. I thought this would give her time to get rid of the b-friend.
The next thing I hear in the closet is the sound of glass breaking. The next thing I know he is in the apartment. I hear him open the door to the bedroom still repeating his call, “Grace…Grace…Grace.” And I was all inside the closet praying, “May the Grace of God be with me at this moment.” In the darkness of the closet I could hear the boyfriend saying “Grace what’s going on in here.”
Her reply was evasive, “Jesse? What are you doing here? I was asleep.” It sounded like she was doing quite an acting job. He wasn’t biting.
I could hear him saying “Who else is here?”
And then in just a second more the closet door swung open. And there I was, arms crossed, wearing only jeans, feeling highly unamused. Panic had fled, in its place I was feeling a kind of calm annoyance. I reached out my hand in a gesture of greeting and I said “You must be Jesse.”
He reached out, grabbed my hand and started to pull me out of the closet. For a second I could see in his eyes the tell tale signs of a man ready to fight for his honor. That sparked within me the tell tale signs of a man ready to fight for any damn reason at all. I thought “alright, yeah, let’s git it on!” But that threat of violence quickly passed when the dude realized the scope and magnitude of the situation before him. Then he just kind of lost it and started freaking out. He was clutching at his hair and on the verge of tears and he was saying, “I knew this was going on, I knew it.” And that made me think “Well if you knew it then why did you come, did you really have to confirm it with your own eyes, stupid.” But then I took pity on him.
He was going around the house collecting what I can only assume was his stuff. He was taking knick-knacks off shelves and paintings off walls and he kept saying, “I knew it, I knew it.” I tried to console him a little with some off the cuff ‘shit happens’ kind of condolences. That didn’t help. That agitated the poor peon more. I’m sure he was a nice guy. I could tell by the way he fell apart but at the moment I didn’t really care ‘cause he had just interrupted the most romance I had enjoyed in quite a while. Grace didn’t know what to do and like most women she seemed quick to avoid confrontation. She had done the best she could but dumb ass Jesse had to go and break in only to confirm his suspicions, the fool. I didn’t even want to deal with it so I gathered my clothes and got dressed and I left her to pick up the pieces of this poor bastard’s broken heart. That was a mistake. I should have made him leave. If that ever happens again I will make the b-friend leave. I should have threatened to call the cops ‘cause like I say he did break and enter but it was late and I thought I would just call Grace later.
I never talked to Grace again. She didn’t call me and I didn’t call her. Mutual embarrassment I suppose. What sucks is that since I popped off early I didn’t get to show her what I could do. They probably got back together, her and mister glutton for punishment guy. They probably weren’t even broken up properly. When I got up the next day The Red Irishman was there with his guitar. I told him what happened and we wrote a song about it. Well we didn’t write anything I just sang a song about it and we recorded it. We call that song ‘The Pirate Song.’ It’s a classic. If I can figure out how I will post it in the next few days. Remember kids, always make the jilted lover leave, stand your ground, especially if you have unfinished business. Hey Jesse, I still fucked your girlfriend, hahahaha Yar.
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