Intentions
So I lied.That iron post about my hella boring weekend...,
a fabrication, a story, a tall tale, fiction, you who have believed me have been bamboozled.
I had the best of intentions.
My words will be my bond in most cases but in this case once again the best laid plans of mice and men have fallen terribly short of the mark. What I mean to say is that not only did I not purchase an iron but I did not clean my apartment, I did not read the manual that came with my new love seat, I didn't get anything done on that list except wash the dishes and clip my toenails. Even there I failed rather miserably cause I had promised to audio blog my toenail clipping session and alas I did not as evidenced by the lack of any audio posts.
Instead, I spent Friday celebrating the birthday of Ben P. He was in a rather subdued mood when I got to his house after work. But after some delicious Thai food and a call to the dope man we were both invigorated and ready to tear the town apart. However, we settled on drinking ourselves silly at the pool hall and staying up way,. I say way... too late. This was not a promising start to a weekend that I had set aside for domestic chores. Already by Saturday morning I was totally useless and I pretty much resigned myself to a delicate melange of total laziness and utter tom-foolery, which if properly doled and separated makes for an excellent weekend strategery.
Despite the late late hour of beddy bye time on the Fri of days, Saturday had to be tackled early due to some charity work that needed handling. To be specific, it was Kelon's bday on Sunday and there was a grand barbecue of medium size and fashion and I had promised to supply one of the kegs. Of course I work at a beer distributor so the keg was in the bag it needed only to be picked up. The caveat there was that the keg had to be picked up before the noon hour as the warehouse closes at noon, or one at the latest. So I had to drag myself from my abode at the hour appointed by Kelon (cause he had the truck) and handle that keg business with expediency and alacrity. So that lead me right into Saturday afternoon,..
the grandest afternoon of all time.
Its kind of hard to ignore the sheer power of Saturday afternoon, especially when its sunny. So then I found myself at Kelon's house, which is a house of eternal tom-foolery, with Mr Findlay in full effect. And Mr Findlay turns to me, and in his most hospitable tone says, would you like a beer? And I, having sold my self control to the devil back in 1991 for a complete set of Desert Storm trading cards, retort to Mr. Findlay, why Yes I would like a beer. It is Saturday afternoon is it not? and I am a bit parched. Yes yes a thousand times yes. And so there I am in the den of Key and Findlay at noon on Saturday and Mr Findlay sparks it up and hands it to me and there I am drinking and smoking the breakfast of champions.
Not 24 hours after I had proclaimed to the world that I would begin in earnest my battle with wrinkles I had been chloroformed by the weekend and at that moment I probably couldn't have drawn a picture of an iron with an overhead projector and a cheat sheet and what's more is that I didn't care. That's how fast those intentions got subverted and deep sixed. After I had about 3 too many afternoon brews over there, I made my way home and quickly found the insides of my eyelids. I laid down for what I thought would be a nap of about an hour. I looked at the clock and it was three thirty. When I opened my eyes the clock read seven forty. That in itself was OK cause I needed the rest but I had promised to be at a dinner engagement at Ben and Tiffany's at around seven and even in my malaise I knew that I was late. I quickly showered and called them and told them to start without me but I would be there soon.
When I got over to Ben and Tiffany's they looked incredulous that I wasn't the first one there, cause I usually am. We ate the best pizza ever and continued our unspoken drinking contest which in the annals of time Tiffany had won the week before. Leyla showed us video of her trip to Turkey. She was a little self conscious about the production but needlessly I tell ya. The video was super cool and it was done in a choppy, kind of 'camera on just the right things' kind of way. There were all these quick cuts between scenes where the camera had been turned on and off really fast and the images therein were enticing. Istanbul looks fun. Then Kiko came over and we played some pool and I somehow made it home. It got late really fast that day. Saturday you never last long enough.
On Sunday I slept late then went to the gym and then did the dishes and by three o the clock I was ready for sommore tom foolery. I clipped my nails and sipped from my Sunday Bloody. I got over to the Bar B Que around five and had a marvelous time there until about ten thirty at which time I hit my wall and I dipped out. That's my M.O. at a lot of social functions. I get sacued to the point where I figure the cost benefit ratio of me leaving without saying goodbye, to me trying to say goodbye to all the beautiful humans that I call my friends and lovers is skewed heavily in favor of me just dipping out. So that's what I did. I dipped. Kelon says to me yesterday all hurt sounding "you left without sayin goodbye." and I was all "yeah, sorry about that man, I hit the wall and that's it sometimes. I looked for you but you weren't around in the backyard so I dipped." and he was all, "that's cool, I know how that goes some times."
If I am ever at a party of yours and I leave without saying goodbye, it ain't personal, just know that I have hit the wall and the wounded bear phase has begun.
So basically, even though I broke my word on my weekend plans and hijacked my original intentions, I had an excellent weekend nonetheless.
Such a good weekend that I was too brain dead to blog yesterday. That's the real sin.
Although I still don't have an iron.
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