28 years & 100 posts
born ~ dust ~ thunderstorms ~ lubbock ~ flat land all the way aroundfish ~ grandpa ~ mimosa tree ~ back swing ~ basement ~ Lubbock ~ dust
birthday cakes that grandma makes ~ and running on my toes
toys ~ bikes ~ star wars ~ e.t. ~ swings ~ playground ~ prairie dogs ~ and dust
the fair ~ school ~ the paddle ~ the principal ~ the bus across town
moving here ~ moving there ~ cicadas in the summer ~ playing in the alley
steve ~ tanned ~ bb guns ~ nat williams ~ mr lockett ~ fps and om
cartoons and comic strips ~ spiral notebooks that suddenly become contraband
when the thunderstorms don't move the parks fill up with flood water
new bicycles ~ coors light cans ~ one day pops just don't come home
so we live with nana and papa and poor sherri having such a hard time
latch-key kid ~ the mall ~ drawing ~ alone a lot ~ comedy
i taped stand up comics till the vcr broke
practice for my shot at the tonight show in the mirror
student council president gets sent home on the last day of school
cussing ~ new dad then new mom ~ bitter ~ stay over at nana and papa's a lot
junior high ~ cruel ~ magic and dave ~ always obsessed with hair and clothes
theater ~ mandy ~ honors classes that still verge on boring
youth group and jesus ~ conviction ~ religion ~ masturbation and playboy
split level house ~ dj and the radio interview ~ archery ~ mark
i can't stand it at home ~ have to cut grass in the summer ~ we mowed the projects
invitation ~ respond to call to ministry ~ move to arlington
no friends ~ endless summer ~ me and holly just wasting away on tv
church camp ~ courtney ~ first love ~ courtney's pretty calves
separation from friends ~ new school not friendly ~ no laughs in class
i wonder where all the people who think i am funny have gone
weightlifting ~ wrestling ~ sucking weight ~ depressed through the winter
julie ~ shanae ~ kirsten ~ joy ~ lisa ~ all those girls and i only thought of courtney
crutch ~ something that wasn't there and wasn't here ~ dj comes to visit
the summer of sweet sixteen is still one of the best in my mind
campbell ranch ~ making out on the porch ~ the first time a beer tasted good
after weigh in for weekend wrestling tournament ~ always wishing i was somewhere else
high school sucks ~ wasted time ~ too much darkness ~ stupid seminary
can't stand it at home ~ want to go back to lubbock for senior year
i go back to lubbock and break my mother's heart ~ still for the best
not what i expected back in L ~ courtney and me fight sometimes
go to austin to check out ut in october ~ i make my decision right then
i only apply for one school ~ i declare my major right away
dave introduces me to marijauna ~ courtney doesn't want me to do it
addictive personality ~ true ~ she is right ~ hard headed taurus i
graduate from high school ~ move to austin ~ sharon and tommy's house
simkins and jaime ~ smoke and smoke ~ jay keith maneesh rajeev jonathan
courtney goes to atm and we become very different people
i am hit by a drunk driver one weekend in arlington ~ herb in the trunk
mexic arte museum ~ hippie matt ~ living on my own is love ~ freedom
summer in L hanging with zack ~ ashley rita brent cocaine ~ good times
but what i didn't know is that the good times were yet to begin in earnest
pearl street co-op ~ my crew ~ it forms naturally ~ now the good times begin
lena katya marcus jennie eamon carlos john pascal mattias and charlie branson
turns out the rest of the co-op hated our exclusionary practices
they even had a name for us ~ the cool kids ~ we were just the crew
i'm gonna chunk you in the pool ~ even in the dead of winter ~ katya's january swim
the year is too short ~ their are lots of tears shed in goodbyes
with the money i have from the drunk driving fracas i go to europe
england france spain switzeland luxmbourg holland belgium ~ marcus' family
travel opened my mind ~ wider than even college education ~ i love travel
i can sleep in any bed any where ~ i want to travel more ~ discovery
back in austin ~ co-op again but without my peeps ~ just ain't the same
casi and shana ~ i like their house ~ me and casi get down
casi leaves for savannah ~ i take her place at the house ~ shana drinks
shana moves out ~ the house is mine ~ roommate after roommate ~ i love my little house
turn 21 ~ i go to russia for two months ~ lena ~ we talk of broken hearts and patrick
be careful the doors are closing the next station is gorky park
we go to st petersburg ~ sochi ~ stay in hotels in strange places
lena and i only begin to fall in love ~ i leave ~ she goes to africa ~ i cry
still smoking spliffs ~ vegetarian ~ central market ~ cooking ~ and art school drags on
more art ~ less art ~ judd ~ some more cocaine ~ eece good ~ trudys
tequila haze for junior year ~ junior year lasts for two ~ ashlesha
one day i go to austin java with scott and i meet evonne
evonne who i will always love ~ evonne who i should have married
evonne and i meet at lunch and have sex between classes ~ so beautiful
evonne
i bring her flowers every time i go see her ~ unspoiled things ~ untainted
evonne goes to germany to study for a year ~ the beginning of the end for me and evonne
i visit ~ she has a lover in bamburg ~ we see him on the street ~ she dodges
we go to prague ~ we don't feel comfortable with her friends ~ we leave them their
i visit again in the summer ~ she meets me in london ~ it still seems like love to me
we go to amsterdam ~ ceramics conference ~ travel fellowship ~ no registration
she don't like me high ~ contention ~ sex on a train ~ berlin
her grandmother's house ~ berlin is beautiful like evonne ~ swansea
back in austin again ~ we try ~ she girls her way out of it ~ lies
my heart breaks ~ i can't go anywhere in austin without thinking of her ~ more spliffs
senior year of school ~ i don't even know what art looks like ~ transmedia
graduation from college ~ internship with granite house ~ 501 post
i start cycling ~ lena writes about going to graduate school at san jose state
i visit lena when she gets state side ~ four years have passed ~ i house
i fall in love with the bay area ~ come back to austin and resign ~ meet ezra
the unknown is my friend again ~ one bike and two bags ~ no job
no place to live ~ only one contact ~ jenny ~ the first of two
san francisco ~ no job and no place to live ~ peter and jesse and the sunset
boca rotis ~ dg systems ~ paul k ~ wicked weed ~ transmedia
and i meet angelina and we drop e and stay up til sunday and go to coachella
and it all slips by like a hand full of sand ~ salt and vinegar chips and blissed out
and days on the beach ~ and angelina does handstands and gets mad when i move up the hill
jeff saunders and will deiss ~ and mat and harper ~ and then nina and jim
hamotam ~ and the white rabbit introduces me to the rabbit hole ~ chards
spun the fuck out ~ the end up ~ lauren martin ~ and jen gro
some days we go out to treasure island and party and forget
one day in the heart of babylon i meet chau ~ at first no then yes in menlo park
she lies to me so much it makes me lose my mind ~ because i care
and slowly i learn not to care ~ and i go deeper down the hole
hamotam can't take me ~ i find i am fine without hamotam ~ i meet lum
lum is good to me ~ better than any girl has been before
i am so far down the rabbit hole i take lum's kindness for granted
ezra asks to see angelina ~ we fall out over that and that's the end of me and ez
sadness begins stalking the lands of my soul ~ i drown sorrows in electronica and c
i move in with will ~ once again so far down the hole i take kindness for granted
jaime comes to visit and plants the seeds of "come home" in my mind
i break up with jen ~ we get back together ~ perfect but flawed we are
one day after many days without sleep i lose my shit and end up in jail
the worst things often are best cause some times they save your life
i go to flash's ranch and work on a project for burning man
i quit my job at transmedia ~ i lose my mind ~ jenny goes to burning man
i stay in sf to look for a job ~ i cannot find one ~ i am running out of money
my mom says come home ~ i know in my heart it is the only thing i can do
it breaks my heart to leave lum and the bay
back in texas ~ no more drugs no more dancing no more beats ~ depression
i sleep 12 hours a day for months ~ i visit lubbock and my mom
i come down to austin to see if i can rebuild my seratonin stores
first romeos ~ ashley junior trent tiffany and my new friend kelon
then exercise ~ after five months i start to remember ~ reconnect with ben and meet tiff
i remember what it was like to be naturally high
some dalliances in drugs but mostly just beer and smoke
living with jaime and erin ~ soccer ~ waiting table sucks ~ i meet lisa
we become friends ~ she leaves for alaska and give me her job ~ design for beer
now its like life after life
and every time i think its over it starts again and its always better
and last summer i started this blog
and its been almost a year
and this is post number 100
and there is over 40,000 words
and life has just begun
again
dust
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