How many times do I have to do this?
answer: As many as it takes.
Re-Do , Repeat , Re-Use , Release, Re-Commit.
I am determined to get some serious writing done in this lifetime. The problem being that I have traditionally had a hard time committing myself to a proper writing regiment. Everyday is what I'm shooting for. That doesn't sound so hard. Especially now when I have this cush desk job and I sit here all day in front of this computer one of whose functions is indeed word processing. Not to mention that I have access to this blog even from remote locations through the miracle of the electronet. Recently I was in a re-commit mood. It was at the tail end of a night of questionable social activities. I had gotten home and just couldn't fall asleep. I found an old spiral notebook that I once used for note-taking in college. I sat down at like 5am or whatever ridiculous time it was and wrote an impassioned plea, laced with poetry and rhyme, the gist of which was a re-commitment to write every day. Pleading with myself, how foolish. Now as I wrote this beseeching passage of longhand to myself I remembered this same act in the past. Things had obviously not been followed up on judging by the lack of writing. Glaring omissions including and especially from this last year. I sat there and pleaded and begged and felt convicted and I ended up feeling satisfied. I finally put the notebook down and sleep soon overcame my little re-commitment ceremony.
When I woke up late the next day I read what I had written. Sleep somehow dampens conviction. Worse that that however was the little passage that I came upon in the front few pages. It was from precisely one of these re-commitment moments from about six years previous. It sounded pretty damn similar to the passage I had just written the early morning before. I all of the sudden was awash in a kind of ironic shame. Well more like pure shame just tinged with a hint of irony. How many times was it going to take? How many times was I going to fail in putiing my money where my mouth was and is and shall be? And I know the answer now. As many times as it takes. That's persistence. That the stuff that winners and heroes are made of. That's the kind of thing that gets an earthbound ape to the roof of the world or into the stratosphere beyond. Persist. Keep at it man. Set a regiment and do what ever it takes to maintain it. Offense wins games but defense wins championships. I don't know what that last quote has to do with anything but I get the vibe. I am at a point where the sum of my experience could be well amalgumated into a novel or at least a novella. All I have to do now is get my body and mind in motion.
Use it or lose it.