Dorky Mofo

Hey look
there's Me and SK Smith.

The funniest thing about that blogger party happened to me later in the evening. The Blogger party was on a Monday night. Me and Ms Miss had gone on our first date on the Friday beforehand. We had spent the whole weekend together so I knew that the date had gone well and I knew that she liked me. So I went out and met Tony and SK and all those other folks and I had gotten fairly sauced. Well, I went home, not too late, and called Ms Miss. She was already in bed. I was so excited about the mixing and mingling that I invited myself over and got in bed with her and showed her these pictures, still fresh in the camera.
Looking back on the full, glaring, dorkiness of that moment, I can't believe the girl is still interested.
And that is not nearly as dorky as it gets.

On a sidenote, I hope that Miss Smith finds herself some kind of job or career sometime soon.
Summer in Austin is hard
and its even harder if you are unemployed and just generally dodging the sweltering heat.
And yes SK
like all good Austinites I am now going for a jog
at five o'clock
in the 98 degree weather
cause wees bees hard like that.
Posted by Hello


Maximum Occupancy

I am glad that I got rid of my counter
numbers are for accountants
I am an artist

no really I am...

ask Mat Honan... he will vouch for me.




Sure,.. I met Tony Pierce one time.

I offered him a joint, but he's all hella straightedged and he just cold said no.

I'm such a little starfucker.

Tony's a pretty cool guy, although he seems slightly less cool in person than he is in his blog. That is not an indictment of his personality its just a testament to the artful power of his writing. He is living really large in his blog. I think his blog sets a standard for living as large as you wanna on a Hollywood budget. I hope more of it is true than is purported which would be easy since the tagline reads "nothing in here is true"

He was in town for the big SXSW interactive conference where he spoke on a panel of Black Bloggers. Those pictures were taken at Club DeVille, one of my most favoritest bars in town. I was thinking about Tony cause on Howard this morning they were talking about how E! cancelled Howard's TV show and they were talking about how some folks are gonna be out of a job. That made me think of somebody else that I know who recently lost their job at E!.

Looking for a job is the hardest job in the world,.. except maybe for those kids who do the diamond mining in South Africa. I hope Tony is able to land a satisfying gig sooner than later. buena suerte Tony...

After I met some of the folks who write some of the blogs that I enjoy very much I stopped blogging a little. There was a twofold reason there. First, I realized that there are a lot of people who are a lot more serious about their blogs than I am about mine. And some of those folks even write about hard hitting real-world type stuff, like politics and religion and racism and international who's its and what's its. And I write a lot of giblets and nonsense and lace a fair amount of bad poetry with the essence of nothing really. There are the pundits and the purveyors and they all generate way more traffic and interest than my little one man show of foolishness and virtual madness. I just feel bad when I am half assing things so sometimes I will just trim the fat and do other things for awhile. I did start drawing again during my blogging hiatus. The second reason has to do with a woman. The character that has been referred to as Ms Miss., like Ole' Miss.(but younger), has become quite a staple in my life. She and I have woven a nice little two person team. I didn't feel like blogging cause I didn't feel like sharing that part of life. I couldn't ignore it and I didn't want to post about it and so I just dipped for a minute. Can you blame me?

But, I just needed to remind myself why I write on a blog in the first place. Its cause I love writing and I don't do enough of it and I need an audience and some day I may start writing for serious and I want to be kinda warmed up, savvy? So here I am, back to the basics, spewing the kind of drivel that only a mother could love,.. just not my mother.. and I am happy as a clam. I know ya'll are all aware of the "Soulmate Correlate" to the "Bros over Hoes" rule so I know ya'll can't stay mad at me.

While I was away I got encouragement from this chick, and this dude

And I never got a chance to meet her, even though she works like two blocks from my house...

And I noticed that homeboy dropped me from his blogroll, what's up with that?

And T had some meltdown with his girl and was all,.. schreeeech, and you could almost smell the rubber burning.

And even A slowed down heaps and heaps,

so I don't feel too slack. nahmean? Posted by Hello



Too Short

I am in a very bad mood this morning
when I wake up feeling pissy
It takes a few hours to get over it.

I hope i get over it soon.

I wish I wasn't so ruled by my emotions.

Breathe in, Breathe out
there is no passion, only serenity



Lots to Say

small posts get more comments than long ones


Longest Day

*Yeah Summer

**I like to sweat everyday
I like to sweat and run and play
and swim and laugh and picnic nightly
summer's here and I'm feeling sprightly

***I say god-damn that is one lame-o rhyme

So I was thinking about my big leap back into the blogosphere. I'm pretty psyched about that. I knew it would still be here when I got back. Gives me a real sense of belonging and stability. And then that made me think about how I really don't like the word blogosphere. I prefer the more succinct blogsphere. I don't know where that 'o' came from, but seems to me that I didn't hear it pronounced like that or spelled that way until the mainstream media started talking about blogs. And then of course since it was on fox news and cnn and all those other farcical networks spelled that way then everybody started using the 'o' and it was cannonized and the rest is history. Although I could be wrong in that I'm not paying very much attention to the blogsphere as a whole. I pretty much stick to my neighborhoods where I know folks and folks know me, kinda like in the un-virtual world or as some would call it "real" life.

But then that reminded me of a word I made up about a week and a half ago. It is a hybrid word like blogshere which isn't simply a hybrid but actually a compound word containing one part that is a hybrid, right?
The word is technoloptimistic ~ which is the belief that technology has the power to solve all problems that threaten our planet and our society.
But at first I wasn't sure if I shouldn't shorten that further to ~ technoptimistic
and then in a fury of shortening madness I though that maybe I should contract that once again to tech-optimistic which could be fun cause it employs that perennial favorite, the hyphen
but looking at all three of the choices I kind of like the first and longest of the incarnations, technoloptimistic.
For one thing, I, unlike most Americans, am not into the brevity thing. I think some things need to stay unabridged, like for instance I insist that people call me Matthew and when they take it upon themselves to shorten my name I know that they are lazy bastards and I cross them off the list of people I respect. I know I am contradicting myself about what I said about blogshpere but hey, contradictions abound.
Something about the second modification, technoptemistic, reminded me of the marriage between a Cyclops and a coptic Christian and that just wasn't working for me.
And tech-optimistic reminded me of some dot-bomb buzz word and that made me want to puke in my old cubicle.

But then all that reminded me of how I am trying to be more of an optimistic person in general. I have spent my life as what I like to call a "hard-line realist." Even though it doesn't sound like it, that is a policy of flexibility. I realize that some situations call for an optimistic viewpoint whereas other situations dictate a pessimistic slant. Some things, where the outcome is obviously up in the air and the odds are not stacked too far in one direction or the other, I can see fit to have a positive attitude. On the other hand, when all hope is lost I have never felt like I should expend the extra effort to keep hoping and negativity ensues. I don't think that's necessarily the right way to go. For one thing, you never really know. So I am conceding that maybe it is better and healthier and more advantageous to be optimistic. This is hard for me but I think it will be the best policy in the end.

the power of positive thinking
that's what I'm marinating on this summer



Don't be so Naive

Such a fine line between light and dark
In a painting or drawing you can create a certain synergy
by placing your light and dark areas right next to each other
flickering neighbors

I can't stand when people use the word synergy
I mean who the fuck do these people think they are
Oh Hi, I am some pompous, ivory tower academic asshat
who has chosen to adorn my writing with preposterously unusable "new-agey" psuedoscience words like
or perhaps paradigm
check me out I am on the bleeding edge of literary zeitgeist circa '94

And sometimes in life
the light and dark areas hang exceedingly close
Its like one day you are going along doing one ting or another
comfortably ensconced in your pattern of being
your rut of existence
and whammo blammo, something happens that changes everything
and you are all
hey universe, where's the gradient
why couldn't we ease into this new pool

What is with the widening gap between the haves and have not's in this society?
The predatory phase of capitalism is creating not short
but long
and brutish lives for a vast class of people in the richest
and yet most in decline city-state in the World

Don't act like I'm being unpatriotic by calling a spade, a spade
And speaking of that
what is up with the rampant racism that fills out hearts with such blind hate for one another?
~did you notice how that antiquated racial epithet reminded me of one of the most pressing issues
for me?
Its hard to accept the way thing are when you can't do nothing about them
besides change your own heart and mind

I could spend all day buried under the knowledge of unabated unfairness and inequality
in our world
would that help anyone?

I could spend all day focusing on the beauty and the positive aspects of life on planet Earth
would that help anyone?

duh, yeah, uh me.... hello?




I used to blog.